b'SCRIPTUREEmbracing Graceful Aging: Gray Hair, Dont CareBy Paula Y. Collins wonder if I could be as strong if faced with the same challenges.Introduction "My happiest memory of Denise is from shortly As I sit here in my late 50s, my mind wandersafter the birth of my cousin\'s babies, who were back to the memories of my dear friend Deniseborn just weeks apart. Denise had been eagerly M. Her presence in my life was a gift, and heranticipating their arrival, but by the time they departureleftanindeliblemarkonmyheart.wereborn,shehadlosttheuseofherarms. Throughouttheyears,I\'velearnedtoembraceSo, one by one, we brought each baby close to thechangesthattimebrings,justasDeniseDenise\'s face to introduce them and allow her to wouldhavewantedmeto.Herinfluenceandexamine the new family members. Denise had the lessons she taught me have guided my path,the biggest smile as she gently rubbed her cheek shaping the way I view life\'s inevitable transfor- back and forth against each baby\'s cheek for a mations. while.The Sisterly Bond and Spiritual RenewalA Heartbreaking Decline and Questions for God DeniseandIsharedabondthatextendedIwatchedmystrong,beautiful,charismatic, beyond friendship. We initially met at work at alife-loving,awesomebigsisterslowlywither hospital in Oakland, California. Because I livedawayphysically,anditbrokemyheart.I\'ve neartheworkplace,Deniseoftenvisitedmynever been mad at God, but I questioned Him Aunt Nae\'s house to spend time with me and myafter Denise passed away at thirty-three years of cousins, Jackie and Shaunese. She was quicklyage. Why did she have to suffer such a cruel and embraced and loved by everyone and became likeslow ending of life? I remember one of the oddest abigsister,providingguidancethroughsomethoughts that came to my mind was, \'She didn\'t of life\'s challenges with her wisdom and love. Iget to live long enough to grow gray hair.\' I went admired her strength, athleticism, and passionso far as to ask God to please allow me to live for nutrition. long enough to grow gray hair." It was a questionPaula Collinsthat lingered in my mind, challenging my faith. We laughed together, cried together, and cel- The Gray Strand of Hope and Specific Prayers ebratedeachother\'sachievements,knowingYears later, working at a call center, my wishClarity in Prayer: When God Takes Your Prayers that we had a lifelong ally in one another. In ourwas granted when a co-worker noticed that oneLiterallyjourney, I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 5:17,unmistakable gray strand in my hair. I instruct- As I reflected on my journey; I couldn\'t help which speaks of being a new creature in Christ.ed the co-worker to carefully pull out the hair forbut recall the scripture from Matthew 20:30-34. Denise\'s friendship exemplified this transforma- me to see.Immediately I thought of Denise andIttaughtmetheimportanceofclarityinour tion as she taught me to love, appreciate, andwas overwhelmed with emotion to the point thatrequests when seeking divine intervention.embraceAfricaandmyAfricanheritage.IamI had to log off the phones and go to a quiet place forever grateful for the newfound love and prideto reflect, and to rejoice. It felt like a messageOver the years I chuckled to myself as I mar-I have in myself. from Denise, a sign that she was still watchingveled at the strands of gray hair that had now Navigating the Storm with Joyover me from beyond. I thanked God for grant- taken over my once head full of thick brown hair. When Denise was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig\'sing my long-ago request.I felt truly blessed andIt was as if God had taken my request quite lit-disease, also known as ALS, my family\'s worldgrateful.Instead of hiding that strand of grayerally and decided to grant me an abundance of was turned upside down. It was heart-wrenchinghair,IcherisheditasareminderofDenisesgray hairs. Perhaps, in hindsight, I should have to watch this vibrant, health-conscious womanspirit and of Gods long memory of our desiresbeen a bit more specific in my prayer.slowly lose her physical abilities. But even in theand requests. I taped the strand of hair insideYou see, I could have asked God to maybe limit face of adversity, Denise remained steadfast inof my family bible where it remains as my pitifulthe number of gray hairs He would bestow upon her spirit, refusing to let the disease define her.high-five to God.I realized that embracing myme or even requested that He concentrate them Shetaughtmetoseekjoy,asPhilippians4:4aging was not only a tribute to Denise but alsointo one stylish patch. That way, I could have encouragesus.Wefacedhermedicaljourneyan acceptance of life\'s cycles and the beauty thatpretended I was going for the trendy "salt-and-together,fromtraditionaldoctorstoacupunc- comes with them.pepper" look, effortlessly chic and distinguished.turetreatmentsinBerkeley,California.HerLettingGoofSocietalExpectationsandBut no, I had asked for gray hair, and that\'s resilience and strength inspired me, making meEmbracing God\'s Planexactly what I gotan abundance of it, scattered As more gray hairsgenerouslyacrossmyhead.Itwasasifeach graced my head overstrand had its own unique story to tell, a testa-theyears,Icontem- ment to the passage of time and the wisdom that comes with it.plateddyeingthem As more gray hairs graced my head overto maintain a youth- As I think about my lack of specificity in that fulappearance.prayer, I realized that sometimes, it\'s the unex-the years, I contemplated dyeing them toHowever,Denise\'spected blessings that bring the most joy. memoryandthe maintain a youthful appearance. However,prayerIoncewhis- Finding Purpose and Trusting God\'s Timing Solomon\'spoeminthebookofEcclesiastes peredinmyheart Denise\'s memory and the prayer I oncestopped me. I under- exploresthemysteriesoflife,revealingGod\'s carefultimingandcompleteauthorityoverall stoodthatIwas whispered in my heart stopped me. Imeanttoembracethings.Ilovethispassageasthepoemstarts from Solomon\'s deep thoughts. It starts with a everyphaseoflife understood that I was meant to embraceandnotbedictateddeclaration of faith, asserting that the detailed patternsoftimearearrangedbyGod.Later, bysocietalexpecta-every phase of life and not be dictated bytions.Agebroughtthroughlogicalreasoning,Solomonconcludes that the repetitive patterns of nature over time withitawealthof societal expectations. experiences, wisdom,are like trying to catch a puff of air - they are and a deeper under-standing of myself. Continued on Page 136 SEPTEMBER 2023 BOCNEWS.com'