7 DECEMBER 2017 BODY OF CHRIST NEWS The first day I set foot in KCCC on the invitation of our family friends eleven years ago, I knew instantly that I would make it my home church. The sermon of that day blessed me so richly and I had an overwhelming urge to want to hear more. Thank God, I made that wise decision because today, my life has been transformed beyond what words can describe.  I joined KCCC when I was at the lowest point in my life. I was depressed, angry, had no zeal, and had given up on life. I was just 'there'. However, constant hearing of the Word in KCCC through teachings, prophetic declarations, Ministration of songs, reading the bible changed me bit by bit. I really appreciate life now and want to live it to the fullest by His Grace. I struggled with forgiveness, time management, self-worth before I joined His ministry. All that is a thing of the past. Why will it not be?  Rev Ade Ajala preaches the Word with jokes. I am always laughing during his sermons. There is never a dull moment. It confirms the bible verse that says, ‘In His presence there is fullness of joy'. He admonishes with jokes too. He teaches us to reach beyond the skies by improving ourselves spiritually and in the secular world and having high self-esteem. He said never to walk in defeat but believe that we can make it because Jesus made it. Rev Ade always wants the best for us. Rev Ade and Rev Adeola are great role models that are filled with the Word and with love. They exude grace and humility.  They are exemplary Christians. I'm so proud of my spiritual parents.  Praise be to God! I'm a better Christian. I have grown so much in the knowledge and fear of God, in the Word of God, in the gifts and fruits of the Spirit, read my Bible with ease and better understanding. I also believe in me, manage my time better, develop myself at every slightest opportunity. I try to count the number of miracles I and my family have enjoyed in Rev Ade Ajala’s ministry, they are uncountable. My testimonies go on and on but in summary, I have been blessed immensely through his ministry. God is so good and is forever faithful!  God bless Rev Ade & Adeola Ajala and family, God bless KCCC, God bless us all!! that family. That’s why it’s so important to dis- cuss finances BEFORE getting engaged! Take a financial class together. Make a mock budget. Go over your spending habits. Once married, your spending habits affect the other person and vice versa. An irresponsible partner can destroy the future of a family! Don’t get engaged until you’ve found account- ability and agreed on a financial path. 4. You think marriage will stop sexual sin. The Church has perpetuated an idea that is neither biblical nor healthy: that getting married is the solution to sexual lust. If a couple is failing to stay pure, well-meaning believers tell them to “just get married” so the problem will be solved... EXCEPT IT WONT BE! SEXUAL SIN AND LUST ARE SPIRITUAL ISSUES! They begin in the heart and mind. As such, they are not conquered when a couple is able to have sex. Instead, those heart atti- tudes remain dormant until another temptation comes along. When this sin is not dealt with spiritually, it causes further sexual sin IN marriage: pornography addiction, mental infidel- ity, and even actual infidelity. DON'T GET MARRIED TO STOP AN URGE! Learn how to walk by the Spirit and control your impulses. Your spouse is not just meant to serve your sexual needs; you’re meant to serve theirs! Getting married won’t stop sexual sin. Only Christ can do that! 5. You disagree about children. If you can’t agree about children, it’s time to take a step back from the relationship and evaluate your values. Couples who marry without coming to an agreement about kids find that ignoring the issue is not effective! When one partner wants several chil- dren and the other wants few to none, there is great opportunity for bitter- ness to grow. This also applies to agreement over how to raise children (or how not to raise children). Where will they attend school? Will both spouses work? AND YOU NEED TO DISCUSS AND OBSERVE HOW EACH OTHER 'REALLY' FEEL ABOUT BLENDED FAMILY! Often, children who won’t even be living with you will affect how you will be able to learn to live together and establish your home life together! These questions should be discussed before engagement. A great way to have this discussion is to spend time around kids—small ones AND grown ones! If they are small, babysit togeth- er. Volunteer at VBS together. Share in family dinners and outings; worship together. Learn what you want your family culture to look like before you get there! REMEMBER: Marriage is seri- ous! God takes it seriously, AND SO SHOULD WE! 6. “Privacy” is an excuse for secrecy. A partner who claims to be “private” and doesn’t want to share information, communication, or time, may have big- ger issues at play. Relationships are built on honesty and trust! Without that, love is hampered. Get to the root of this need for pri- vacy; what is it about? Why can’t the other party be involved? You need absolute openness in a relationship headed to marriage! Secrets before marriage become secrets after mar- riage – not a healthy way to begin a lifelong commitment! 7. You have unresolved conflicts. Do you continually argue without reaching a compromise? Is there something bugging you that you don’t want to bring up because you’re afraid of conflict? These issues can cause a major rift in a marriage! It’s extreme- ly unhealthy to head toward engage- ment without confronting any grudges you’ve held! It’s also worth noting that 'confron- tation' is not a bad thing! It’s a good thing – if your heart is resolution! Learn to accept conflict. Learn to work through it with your partner. A person who avoids conflict, holds grudges, and wants their partner to “figure out” what’s bothering them is setting their marriage up for difficulty from the start! 8. You have drastically different theological views. Subtle denominational differ- ences can be overcome by talking through your beliefs, attending differ- ent churches together, and deciding together which church you’ll attend! But even among Christians, drastically different theological beliefs can cause a rift in a marriage. This often becomes an issue when the couple is deciding what will be taught to their children. Having parents who believe very dif- ferent things about God, the Bible, and the authority of Scripture causes confusion for young minds! Before getting engaged, discuss your view of God, Jesus, the Bible, and how the Christian life should be lived. This will naturally overflow into a discus- sion of Christian life issues: parent- ing and discipline, alcohol use, male/ female friendships post marriage, and finances. Our worldview dictates how we make decisions, and it’s important that a couple be on the same page as much as possible! 9. One or both of you has jealousy, anger, or control issues. It might seem cute when he’s jealous as you’re dating – but what’s the extent of that jealousy? How angry does he get about insignificant things? Does she lash out frequently and blame it on her emotions? In his series Gospel Treason, Brad Bigny points out that strong emotional reactions to circum- stances are often a sign of idolatry! When a person reacts with rage, jeal- ousy, or passive aggression, the idol is often control! This can escalate into a very danger- ous situation! Until your partner gets counseling and acknowledges this problem area in his or her character, it’s better to wait on the wedding vows! 10. You think marriage will complete you. Marriage is not designed to ‘com- pletely' satisfy! God has not designed “THE One” for each of us to discover in this life; nowhere in Scripture do we see the concept of a soulmate articu- lated - it’s rooted in Greek mythology. Marriage, while a beautiful picture of God’s love for the Church and a pow- erful way to make disciples, is not an end-all-be-all! And it certainly will not solve the ‘spiritual issues’ of loneliness, purposelessness, fear, or depression! IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR MARRIAGE AND A SPOUSE TO ‘COMPLETE YOU,’ DON’T GET MARRIED! Marriage is an altar of sacrifice above all else! It is where we commit to love 100% just as Christ loved the Church! There are many personal benefits we receive when we do marriage God’s way, BUT entering it with a selfish mindset destroys the foundation right from the beginning! Don’t say “I do” until you’ve put your hope in the only One who can complete you: JESUS CHRIST! 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