b'L ifecanchangeinasplitsecond.HaveyouMental Health First Aid.I struggled and some- To grieve is normal and a part of being human.If ever been moving through the routine of yourtimesstillstrugglewiththetraumaofcomingyou need someone to talk to while moving through day, only to be caught by a traumatic curveballhome and finding my husband dead.It has beenyourjourneyofgrief,youarenotalone.Itis like a phone call, visit from someone official, let- a journey of healing.I have come to accept thatok and good to talk to someone about our grief. ter, news, or something totally unexpected?Ourthe journey of grief and healing comes in layersHealing comes in different ways for each of us.brains can create trauma notches when traumaticandonapaththatissometimesItcantake3-5yearstowork events, experiences or losses take place.Thesecrooked and not always straight. throughamajorloss.Ifwefind trauma notches can carve their way deep into ourBrainMemoryhasagreatdealourselvesstayingstuckinour hearts, minds and souls. ofpowerafterwelosealovedgrief, it is a good idea to find some-Have you ever felt like you were walking throughone.Our daily routines and hab- one who understands grief to talk acloudwhilelifeseemstobemovinginslowits become embedded in our brain.to.We should grieve when going motion, or even like a hurricane swirling aroundAfter the loss of a loved one or eventhroughlosses.Thatmakesus you?Griefhasmanyfacetsanddimensions.thelossofarelationshiporrou- very normal.Spiritual abuse or a Our personalities can impact how we respond totine,suchaslosingajob,home,lack of understanding of grief can grief.For someone who tends to take charge andloved one, etc., our brain kicks intocomewhensomeoneusesscrip-beincontrolintheirlives,griefmaycomeoutthe routine of habit.Fixing a meal,ture to demand that you must heal throughtryingtocontrolwhatthatpersoncanplanninganactivitythatwedidand stop grieving immediately.still control. with that loved one, etc.Bob and ITo grieve indicates that we loved. For the person who is a people person, grief mayused to have date night on FridayLoveisthegreatestgiftofall. come by trying to take care of others and keepingnights.Afterhisdeath,IfoundPastor Debbie Stafford May you find peace in the middle those around them comforted through their grief,thatoneofthehardestnightsofofyourjourneyofgrief,lossand only to put their own needs aside.For the personthe week was Friday night.I feltpain.Mayyoufindhelp,hope who tends to be more introspective, creative andthemostaloneondatenight.Ihavehadtoand healing as you move through your journey of aloner,griefcanbedebilitating,isolatingandpurpose to find new experiences on Friday nights.grief.If you need someone to talk to, it is ok to lonely. I have had to learn to be ok to be alone as well asreach out for help.How we talk to people going strengthening new friends. through grief is very important.Grief is normal, Griefcanflowthroughstages:shock,denial,For anyone experiencing the loss of a loved one,can be complex and can be worked through. Our anger,depression,bargainingandacceptance.finding ourselves falling back into previous rou- body takes times to heal after surgery, injury or a Unfortunately, grief does not move in a clear lin- tine habits is a natural part of the journey of grief.health impact.So it is that it takes time for our earprocess.GriefcanrevisitstagesagainandFacing our pain, the reality of our loss and need toheart, mind and spirit to heal after loss.May you doesnothaveaclearorcleanprocessorflow.re-discover ourselves within the perimeters of ourfind peace through the losses of life.Grief can make you feel like you were run over bynew journey of adjustment is part of the journey a steam roller, then the driver put the steam rollerof grief. Scriptures of comfort when grieving:in reverse and came back again.Grief can knockPsalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the broken-the wind out of your sails. Theangerstageofgriefcancausesomeonehearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.CompoundGriefcanhappenwhenwegotogetangryatthosearoundthem.Theycan through a loss, then another loss and more, espe- get mad at God.They can internalize grief andPsalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and cially close together.Losses are not just throughbecome more self-isolated or self-destructive.Itbinds up their wounds.death.Losses can be loss of health, a relation- is ok to be angry, as long as in our anger we areMatthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor ship, a home, job, career, dreams, pet or life as wenot hurting ourselves or others.It is ok to talk toand are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take knew it.Compound Grief can sometimes feel likesomeone.It is ok to grieve.The journey of griefmy yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am we are on a roller coaster ride going up, down andis normal. gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for making sharp and fast curves.Compound GriefSome people may use alcohol, substance, workyour souls.For my yoke is easy, and my burden can cause our mind to sometimes feel scrambled,orotherbehaviorstoself-medicateorcoverupis light.confused or in a fog. their pain.One of the hardest challenges for anyCall Aurora Mental Health & Recovery if you I experienced the death of my husband, Tom,healing is to face the pain.Children may grieveneed someone to talk to!303-617-230023 years ago.It was traumatic.After nearly 5a loss by regressing in their behavior.They may years, I remarried.My husband, Bob died over 4wanttobenurturedandcaredformorelikeaDebbieStaffordcompletedherfourthand years ago.My brain began to call Bob, Tom andsmall child needs care.Teenagers may tend tofinalterm(duetotermlimits)asaColorado Tom, Bob.I found that both experiences becamegrieve with rage and anger.They may find it dif- State Representative serving House District 40 scrambledinmymind.Iwouldfindmyselfficult to know what to do with their feelings.Theyin 2009. Rep. Stafford has worked as a domes-confusing the facts between the two deaths.Itmay benefit from talking to someone, acknowledg- ticviolencecounselorparttimeforthepast tookawhilebeforeIseemedtobeabletogeting their pain, joining a support group or learningtwenty nine years. As an ordained pastor, she my thoughts back into real time.This is a goodmore about the normal journey of grief. has served on the pastoral staffs of two large example of Compound Grief. FormanypeopletheirFaithisastrengthchurches in Denver, CO.Debbie has been with I was teaching a Mental Health First Aid Classthrough their grief.Some people may deny theirthe Aurora Mental Health & Recovery for over the day that my husband, Bob, died over 4 yearsgrief, believing that they cannot grieve and honor18years.SheiscurrentlytheirLegislative ago.I found myself pulling away from teachingtheir Faith.We were created with our feelings.Director.10 MARCH 2023 BOCNEWS.com'