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9OCTOBER2014BODYOFCHRISTNEWSThenameofthemanwasNabalandthenameofhiswifeAbigail.Andshewasawomanofgoodunderstandingandbeautifulappearancebutthemanwasharshandevilinhisdoings.AndhewasofthehouseofCaleb.1Samuel253Recentlywehaveseenvideoclipsofdomesticviolenceandheardofincidentsofverbalandphysicalabuse.Theseviolentincidentsaretheonesthathavefoundtheirwayintothenews.Thereal-ityisthatforeveryincidentthatgetsreportedthereareprobablyhundredsifnotthousandsofothersthatarent.Therearewomenandyessomemenwhosuffersilentlyunderthetyrannyofanabusivespouse.ThebookofProverbsrecordsmanywis-domsayingswithregardtolivingwithwomenwhoarenaggingandworrisome.Howeverithaslittleornothingtosayaboutthewomenwhohavetolivewiththemenwhomanifestsimilarandevenmoreexcessivebehavior.Wearedisappointedwhenwelearnoftheprivateissuesofabuseofthosewhomwethoughtwereofgoodcharacterandstaturewhenwelearnofthedegradingtreatmentofspousesandchil-dren.Domesticviolencecrossesallboundaries.Itisfoundamongthosewhomwethinkoughttoknowbetterdoctorslawyersclergyandthosecalledtoprotectandservesuchasthemilitarypolicemenandsheriffs.InlightofrecentnewsdevelopmentsChristianmeninparticularandallmeningeneralarecalledtoconsiderandaskthemselvessomesignificantquestions.SuchaswhatdoyouwantthetestimonyofyourlifetobeHowisitthatyouwantyourfamilyandotherpeopletothinkofyouWhenpeoplemeetyouwhatdoyouwantthemtosayNowtheregoesaverynicemanDoyouwantthetestimonyofyourchildrensfriendstobethatyouareagreatfatherWhatisitthatyouwanttobeknownforWhatimageareyourprojectingtopeopleaboutyourselfThebiblegivesusinsighttoamanwhowasanabusivehusband.Itdoesnotspecificallygivethenatureofhisabusebuthiswifestestimonytellsusthathewasameanman.Iencourageyoutoreadthefullaccountin1Samuel251-42forcontextandwhenyouhavedonesoconsiderthefollowingasyouthinkaboutthetestimonyofwhatmightbesaidaboutyou.CompareyourselftoNabal.Nabalspositiveattributes--themanwasveryrich.Somementhinkthatjustbecausetheyprovideforthewell-beingoftheirwifeandfamilythatgivesthemlicensetobemeanandnasty.Justbecausethebillsarepaidtheycomehomeeverynightfixthecarwhenitisbrokencutthegrassanddoalltheothermanlykindsofthingsdoesnotobligatetheirwifeandfamilytoputupwiththeirharshways.Duringtimesofconflictwearequicktorefertowhatwehavegivenher.Welistallthematerialassetsandallthepainstakinghourswehavehadtoworktoachievethem.Ourwomenarenotunappre-ciativebutrecognizeagreatervalueinrelationshipsthaninthings.Theycoulddowithoutthenewcouchifitmeantgettingmoreofourtime.Theycoulddowithoutthenewcarifitmeantgoingshoppingandspendingtimewiththekids.Materialthingsaregoodandwealldesirethembutultimatelyahousedoesnotmakeahome.Abiggerhousestilldoesnotmakeahome.Marriagedoesnotmakearelation-ship.Andmakingloveisreallynotallaboutsex.Hisfirstnegativeattribute--themanwasharshandevilinhisdoingsvs.3.Thedefinitionofharshisgratingroughorunpleasanttoanyofthesenses.WhywouldanyonewantbeclassifiedasbeingharshandevilWhyaresomementhatwaySomemenhavelearnedtobethatwayfromtheirfathersorintheirfamilies.Sometimesinordertogetrespectmenhavehadtoputupaprotec-tivefacadeofmachomanliness.Somemenareharshtotheirwivesandfamiliesbecausetheyfeelasiftheyaretrapped.Theburdenoffinancialobligationscanbesuchaweightthatonefeelsoverwhelmedandtrapped.Theclosestpeopletoblamearethosewhoaretherecipientsthosetowhomhefeelsinbondage.Inthemindsofmanymenitisthefam-ilythatisthecauseoftheirfailureratherthanalackofdiscipleonthehusbandspart.Somemenareharshbecausetheyfeelthattheycouldhavedonebetterinmaritalpartnersbutwhohaveenoughdecencynottohaveanaffair.Insteadtheirwifepaysfortheirfrustrationasheventsinfitsofrage.Thosewhohavebeenlivingtogetherforanytimeoughttoquestionwhytheyhavenotgottenmarried.IsonepartnerorbothholdingoutthatsomethingbetterwillcomealongSomemenareinsecureandarelikeasmallbark-ingdogtryingtomakepeoplethinktheyaresome-thingtheyarenot.Somemenaredisappointedinthemselvesthattheyhavenotachievedsuccessinlifeandaremadaboutitwithinthemselvesandventtheirfrustra-tionsonthosearoundthem.Itisalwayssomebodyelsesfault.Somedonotlikewhotheyareandwhattheyhavebecomearetrappedwithintheirownaddic-tionsandaretooafraidtomaketheefforttogetfree.Anothernegativeattribute--heissuchascoundrelthatonecannotspeaktohimvs.17.InalmosteverycounselingsituationIencountertheissueofcommunicationisalwayspresent.Somebodycannottalktosomeoneelse.Somebodyfeelsthreatenedfeelsattackedfeelsthattheywillbecalledintoaccountandsotheeasiestwayistogetmadandnottalk.NabalsservantscouldnotcometohimandtellhimwhatDavidhaddoneortheseriousnessofwhatwasabouttohappen.Sometimesinourhomeswecangeneratesuchatenseatmospherethatevenourfamilyandfriendsdarenottellusthingsthatcanbenefitusforfearthatitwillnotberightlyreceived.Somemenseeeverythingasnaggingortheirwifetryingtocontrolthemortryingtosetsomebound-aryaroundthem.Finallyhewasgiventodrunkenness--andNabalsheartwasmerrywithinhimforhewasverydrunkvs.36.Proverbs201NKJVdeclaresWineisamockerStrongdrinkisabrawlerandwhoeverisledastraybyitisnotwise.WhileNabalwasdrinkinghewasoutoftouchwithreality.HeknewnotwhatdangerhewasinheknewnotwhathadtranspiredforhisbenefitthereforeAbigailtoldhimnothinglittleormuchuntilmorninglight.SoitwasinthemorningwhenthewinehadgonefromNabalandhiswifehadtoldhimthesethingsthathisheartdiedwithinhimandhebecamelikeastonevs.3637.Somepeopledrinkexcessivelyforfearoffacingreality.Somepeopleliketobenumbtothereal-ityoflife.Forthemlifeapartfromsomekindofintoxicantisdeadandboring.Itisonlywhentheyarehighthattheycandealwithlife.Nabalhadsomeissuesandonehastowonderdiddrinkingkeephimfromcom-ingfacetofacewiththereality.Therealityofwhohewashowthoseabouthimfeltabouthimandwhathisrelationshipwithhiswifewasreallylike.WhatwillthetestimonybeaboutyouWhatwillyourwifeandthosearoundyousayMyhopeisthatitwillnotbethatyouwereameanman.NowheredoesitsaythatAbigaillovedherhus-bandtheBibleissilent.Butwecanassumethatinherdisplaythatshecaredsomethingforhim.Itistothecreditofthisnoblewomanthatshedidnotleavehergodlesshusbandorseekdivorcefromhimbutremainedaloyalwifeandtheprotectorofherworthlesspartner.Shehadtakenhimforbetterorforworseandlifeforherwasworsethantheworst.WretchedthoughherlifewasandspurnedinsultedandbeatenasshemayhavebeenduringNabalsdrinkingboutssheclungtothemantowhomshehadsworntobefaithful.Inmarriageoftenstayingwithsomeonecanbemoreamatterofendurancethanlove.Abigailwasawomanofgoodunderstandingandbeautifulappearance.AbeautifulwomanwithabeautifulmindasshehadissurelyoneofGodsmasterpieces.Unfortunatelyshewasmarriedtoafool.Inspiteofhowhewasshewashonorableanddidtherightthingforthewell-beingofthefamily.ShewenttoDavidandmadeamendsforhisbehav-ior.Shepouredhealingintothewoundsofthosehewounded.Sheisnotunlikemoderndaywomenwhoshieldthefamilyparticularlythechildrenfromaharshandevilfather.Womenhavebeenmakingexcusesandmakingamendsformenforalongtime.TheytellourchildrenwhenwearegrumpyDaddyhashadalongday.WhenwewillnotordonottakethetimetoplaytheysayDaddyistiredandneedstorest.WhenwearebitingandcriticaltheysayDaddydidnotreallymeantosaythat.AndinsomecasesofthosemenwhowouldhittheirchildsmothertheysayDaddydidnotreallymeantohitmommyhejustgetsangryandlosescontrol.Yeswomenhavebeenmakingexcusesandshieldingthefamilyfromharshandevilmenforalongtime.Ifitwerenotforsomeofourwivesintercedingforusourchildrenwouldhavealoweropinionofus.IfwerenotforsomeofourwivesintercedingforusByRev.Dr.WilliamT.GolsonJr.DMinWilliamT.GolsonJr.MDivisPresidentoftheGreaterMetroDenverMinisterialAlliance.Rev.WilliamT.GolsonJr.AMeanManNowheredoesitsaythatAbigaillovedherhusbandtheBibleissilent.Butwecanassumethatinherdisplaythatshecaredsomethingforhim.Itistothecreditofthisnoblewomanthatshedidnotleavehergodlesshusbandorseekdivorcefromhimbutremainedaloyalwifeandtheprotectorofherworthlesspartner.Shehadtakenhimforbetterorforworseandlifeforherwasworsethantheworst.SERMONContinuedonPage20