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17MAY 2015BODY OF CHRIST NEWS Now that I have told you a bit about what caused me to attend and graduate from law school in the BOC April 2015 news article entitled Aspiration and the Path I am going to go into a little more detail about how I came to actually practice law. It is not a story that I am excited to tell but I believe it is necessary and could help someone else who may be hindered delayed bullied or crippled by fear. Honestly when I sat down to write this article my intention was to talk to you a little about the work that I do as an attorney but something is pulling me in another direction. I had to come face to face with my fear in order to do what I do now. Many of you have had to do the same in your jobs and careers and have accomplished many achievements as a result. This article is written specifically for that person who may need to hear my story in order to encourage them to overcome the hindrances the delays the bullies and ultimately conquer crippling fear. My first year of law school was an adventure and very exciting for me. I found myself academically achieving in law school more than I had in under- grad. One of the fruits of my success during my first two years of law school was being selected to participate in coveted internships over the summers. The first internship was with the National Football Leagues Management Council in New York City New York. What an amazing experience. Apart from living on Long Island then the Upper East Side of Manhattan and then in a high rise off Time Square itself I found the work to be intellectually stimulat- ing and also relatable to my experience as a former college football athlete. I left that internship think- ing the world is my oyster and I can do anything that I want. Following my time in New York my second internship came. I was invited to join what was at the time Cincinnati Ohios largest corporate law firm and to participate in their summer associate program. A summer associate program is one where law students work as attorneys over the course of a summer supervised by asso- ciate attorneys and partners of that law firm. I went in open-eyed and eager to learn more. I had never pictured myself ever working in a law firm remem- ber my roots were sports and becoming a professional foot- ball player. I also had no intentions of practicing law upon graduation however it felt nice to be sought after and the money was awesome for a young man of my age. Upon starting this internship I noticed that I was the only black face out of 12-15 faces that participated in the program that year. I took on many projects during that summer probably more than I should have to be effective but I wanted to learn and I also wanted to leave a good impression being the only face of color. One day I remember reluctantly as I was already overwhelmed taking on a project from one particu- lar associate attorney. I had been working on 9-12 projects already at that time and I remember think- ing do not take on this added project. The associate looked to be around 33 years old slight of build balding and socially awkward. Yes I remember a lot of details about this experience and for a reason. The associate asked me to do a detailed memoran- dum on compulsory counterclaims and I believe also the joinder of claims andor interpleader actions. At the time I had only heard of these terms in passing but definitely had not studied them in law school. To be frank I do not remember ever going into detail on any of these areas during my three years of law school. Nevertheless I took on the assignment. About a month later I received a call from a part- ner in the firm. I will refer to her as Gloria. Gloria asked me to come down to her office. I did. She formally introduced herself and told me to sit down. Gloria pulled a document from her desk and tossed it my way and asked me Is that your work I looked at it for a few seconds and it finally registered that this was the assignment that I had done for the socially awkward associate. I recall thinking how did this get into your hands when I did the project for someone else I responded Yes this is mine. Do you think this is acceptable work to be entered into a brief for a multi-million-dollar case Gloria said. I honestly did not know how to answer her question all I could think was multi-million-dollar what I was never told the importance of what I was doing I did not know that it would be submit- ted within a brief let alone a multi-million-dollar one. I remember thinking wow I am playing with the big boys. I am about to learn big-time and in a good way. I was taught never to make excuses so I answered No it is not acceptable and waited to be taught how it should have been done since I was the student and Gloria was the partner. However that is not what happened. She began to go through my work not for the sake of teaching but rather to emas- culate and belittle me. She picked it apart in the most mean-spirited way that you can imagine. Gloria then called another partner of the firm and asked this partner to come to Glorias office. I will call the other partner Elizabeth. Elizabeth walked in to Gloria saying Look at this. And they both went over my work and laughed. I know this may sound farfetched but this is what happened. It all concluded with Gloria say- ing I am calling the hiring committee partner to let them know you are not the caliber of lawyer that we hire here and you probably should have never been brought in in the first place. I went back to my office angry so angry I cried. Those tears of anger quickly changed into tears of fear and doubt. It was surreal. The words of my father came to me If you want to be successful in this world you have to be twice as good as the white man. I remember feeling at that point that not only was I not twice as good I was abysmally lacking and had failed my father. My confidence was shot. I gave sanction to Glorias and Elizabeths words and began to seriously doubt myself and my abilities. A few days later there was a meeting set between me and the hiring partner. Immediately upon enter- ing that meeting I told the hiring partner that I was quitting that I did not feel that the environment was a safe place for me to learn what I needed to learn. I have no idea what the hiring partner was about to say to me however at that point I was already at a low and chose not to risk the possibility of further abuse. I graduated from the Indiana University School of Law and immediately started working a job that serviced at-risk youth in the city of Bloomington Indiana. If it was not entirely clear in Aspiration and the Path I went to law school so that I might learn what my rights were what police could and could not do to me and for the liberty and knowl- edge that I felt the educational endeavor would give me. I did not go to law school to become a lawyer. I am sure in hindsight that the aforementioned event helped shape and solidify my decision not to practice law. Fast forward six years into the future I was juggling a couple different careers neither legally related neither made much money I had a one- year-old toddler who was born on Medicaid and my wife and I were barely making ends meet. I began to ask myself what I could do to get us out of the hole. My wife quickly said take the bar and become a lawyer. What I said its been years since I graduated and I never went to law school to become a lawyer. During that same time I had a conversation with a close friend who said the same thing Take the bar. God was speaking to me through two dear people in my life. And fear was speaking to me twice as fast. I was afraid that I did not have what it took that I was not smart enough that I would not pass the bar after so many years and scared to disappoint my family and friends. Also I had never really shaken off the words that were said to me at that law firm and deep down the root of my fear was that experience. Nevertheless I had to do something and studying for the bar was an obvious option if only I could work through my fear. There was one scripture at that time that I held onto above all others and it was I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. The second scripture was Therefore if any man be in Christ he is a new creature old things are passed away behold all things are become new. I convinced myself that I was new and no longer the man who was afraid of failing. That if I was indeed new then everything about me was new even my perspective of what happened at the Cincinnati law firm years ago. Therefore I signed up to take the bar which meant that I went to work and then studied every night until 100 or 200 a.m. without fail until the day of the test. Every night weekends included. When I finally took the exam I knew that I had passed the two-day test. However I still had to wait to receive the results in the mail. In the meantime the real testing appeared shortly afterwards when I was laid off on Good Friday from one of my jobs the one that paid the most. My faith tested and with fear again knocking on my door God spoke to me through a man who said Congratulations on your promotion My immediate thought after hearing this was what you talking bout Willis Confirmation came a couple months later when I received the results that I passed the bar. This event taught me that for me it is only by going through your fear that you conquer it. For many years I had side-stepped it outrun it and jumped over it. It took going through my fear to accept my promotion that was already packaged and waiting for me on the other side. I also found that I was not the only one who benefited from me conquering that fear but also my whole community is benefiting as well. Congratulations OnYour Promotion Cajardo Lindsey I was afraid that I did not have what it took that I was not smart enough that I would not pass the bar after so many years and scared to disappoint my family and friends. Also I had never really shaken off the words that were said to me at that law firm and deep down the root of my fear was that experience. By Cajardo Lindsey TESTIMONY